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cecilia_oak

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[27 Dec 2005|07:47pm]











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[26 Sep 2005|10:53pm]
i's will be yer dear one

i's will be yer near one

i's gonna wipes yer tears off

cause i's the one for you.



every bottle gots a tune

and every ladle tis a spoon

and all's my dreams'll last till noon

cause i's the one for you



rainy days tis comin' by

lazy lives that makes ya sigh

gots my reasons, gots ta fly

cause i's the one for you



i's the one that keeps ya warm

i's the one that luvs yer charm

i's the one to take ya home

oh i's the one for you.
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[16 Aug 2005|07:58am]
i wish i wasn't dieing so quickly. and so frantically fadeing.

the air is being sucked out of my lungs, the water flushed out of my eyes.

my voice regresses into a black empty stomach, and my machine hands have more glitches in the circuitry than they had when they were newer.

a shakey head and rickity legs and there is some kind of soot embedded in the skin...so there are sharp irritations in and around the arms and neck.

i can't reach anyone
and no one can reach me.

if i had a gun i might use it for a door.


the morning is very harsh on my nerves, and i have to see it everyday now. there has been little hope in escapeing anything these days. the only sound i ever make is the rattleing of my cage.

i want to breathe fire and have 6 inch claws...horrid vicious fangs, and a two ton tail. the havok that has been put on me...i want to put back on others one thousand fold...and a roar that shakes the mountains.
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think like me : clips from #8 (waiting for toner to make copies) [30 Jul 2005|10:59am]

9 clips from #8Collapse )
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[29 May 2005|02:05am]
just doin da laundry 'gain...

gosta gest thast newst shirst cleanst foest tamooreoh.
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[24 May 2005|10:39pm]
i'm disappearing in a way.

falling to ruins.

fadeing. a weathered stone or brick or monument.

i'm dusty all soot.

so close to air.

my hair is clean now, soft and feels good on my face.

i just want to lie in the sheets and have a dream for the rest of my life.

i love the quaintness and the quiet of it. the subtleties found in profound luxury.
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#6 [17 Mar 2005|09:44pm]
drip-drip

splatter-splatter

drip.

oh you a oozin' out.

grape-jelly's got nothin' on all this red.

my clothes is drenched in it.

later we can compare notes on something spastic-drastic-plastic.

i planted seeds in my dirt. they's growin' and growin' like beans do.

the pools all empty, i thought the water was gonna be my baby.

when birds migrate, they don't know what they are doin'

nature is a bitch that like ta bark and bark and bark.

she talk 'n' talk 'n' talk...i don't know what she sayin', but she sure do talk.

this restless blue bird luvs the way i luv her, she like to sing, and she like to fly.

the best thing i ever did was sit in a hot tub all day and listen to the water.

it went drip drip. when i got out the floor was all blue and wet. there was salt on my skin.

and my ears went blank. my face was a blanket. hands were stubs pounding against iron.

splatter splatter on a black door.
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#6 [17 Mar 2005|09:37pm]
i spent the whole day just feelin' my hair
and i spent the whole day just feelin' the air
and i spent the whole day just laughin' at the moon.

yesterday i looked out my window and said,

they should let it all go to ruins.

i think it's funny how we've gotta make acronyms out of everything these days.

it seems so childish, makeing acronyms for things that are useless to remember.

i think i have a tumor in my brain...but it might not be a tumor at all, that might just be my brain.

i said "live like children"
not "act like children"

you are being exposed to a very specific psychosis right now.
your own brain patterns are quickly deteriorating, and you should think differently about things that you know are true.

this is advice straight from god...i had a good picture of me once...it didn't look anything like me, or what people saw,

but, man it was good.
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wow wut a body(#6) [17 Mar 2005|09:26pm]
oh what a body you have
wow you're so so really-really smart.

man oh man oh, how i love everything you ever did.

gee gee gee...i really think that you are really saying something important.

yeah but yeah but yeah but...

so here we were just telling eachother what eachother wanted to hear.

there wasn't much thought about her, or much thought about her...

and there wasn't much thought about me,
or much thought in regards to me.

i'm about as bright as a pigeon on a perch. just a cooin' just a coo-coo coo.

so he thought he had it. and then he thought he lost it...

now come to find out, he think he have it again.

i say, 'no no no' ya don't know nuthin' sir. ya don't know anythin' neither'

he say,

yeah but yeah but yeah but...and nuthin' cum after da butt.

oh, ya so so so rancid, and stupid, and awful. and how did they ever let you think that you knew what you were in?

but they did.

they said here's the bowl; you the big fish.

but the bowl is just a bowl, and the fishy-fishes got man-heads, and ugly feet, and the works.

and they kickin' at the water like it all they wanna do.

man, oh man...ya so so wise. yeah, ya really gotta a talent, yeah, ya really got some amazin' notions 'bout things.

not things in general, but you know like things.

eh...um, uh...yeah...i really didn't know how ta take it...and sometimes they say, he's gonna make it.

but they's all livein' shallow...an' they's lookin through thick windows.

i like ta think independently of others...don't you?...

i wasn't tryin' to make a point or anything...and the signs said "stop" and "go" and "slow down" and "speed up"

and you should be this at this age and then this and then this and then this and then this...

and i said, wait, "slow down", but they were sayin' "go" and "speed up"

and so i turned around and starting walking in the opposite direction...maybe a little to far, but as i was walking i was counting the

stains on the world...

and it was all there, there was a green one, and another was more yellowy...the red ones were the stickiest, but the oranges were always most lovely.

they said...

stop yer ramblein' just stop it and walk right.

around then i fell asleep and had my own little dream.

sooner or later, i thought...

but i knew it'd be sooner.

the ocean was getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

the land was about to get washed away, and people were turning into islands, turning into stones.

turning inside out.

and insides were still hugging onto bones.

sooner than later them bones'll be in the sea, with them fishies.

an' so we'll all be a big part of the ozone problem, and i want to live in the acid rain that i used to hear so much about.

burnin' the kids who try to go out in the storm. washing away the gravel from the roadways...and rustin' holes through all yer precious metals and shiny-shine-shines.

but oh what a body you have
and wow you sure is real smart.
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tea-stain (#6) [17 Mar 2005|09:06pm]
headed for a head with fungus in.
headed for a head with the fungus in.

its true what they said 'bout smellin' somthin' pungent.

its a fact what ya read 'bout bein' able ta change da world yer in.

they said its in the spilled coffee on the blank sheet, stareing at you
and looking up at me.

i read,

here lies an idea, that awakened a sleeping muscle
and then stabbed it like in the throat, and stopped it once more from beating.

the hum was coming from the other room,
think it was the kitchen.
think it was the fridge.
think it was under ground and struggleing to dig itself out.

i squeezed the tea bag and felt the hot mashed leaves press through my fumblein' digits.
some of the orange-brown drops thought it better to miss the cup and hit the white counter top.
the next day it was there, like when your mind is rebirthed through some kind of faux-revelation,
it was the sun, and it was the son. only child and a wrestlein' with something called faith.
the lines were perfectly clear. i licked my lips, and my eyes began to wonder. my hand was already dead.

i became weakened by the week's end...it was so so juicy. i chomped in, i stepped out.

and by the time we got it right, the whole thing was a thousand feet under ground,
heading straight for the hot-hot center.

now are you gonna tell me that that wasn't a revelation.

that tea stain is who i am.

and now i think it is who you are too.
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stains is stains is stains (thinklikeme#6) [17 Mar 2005|08:54pm]
i'm sticky likes a stain,
i likes ta stick to da world.
like a stain, we all holden to the surface of a hummin'

we's a stain on the earth,
earth's a stain on da universe,
universe da stain on da stain.

little puppy-gal barkin' at da moon
little moon, all glowin in da sky.
sky all droppin on da floor.

floor all soaked wit sunny-stain's-
bleech under my nails
ink's in my head.

like metal danglin' from ear lobes
like eyes full of salty-salt 'n' love.

yer a stain on my arm, hand in hand, fingers twistin'
yer a stain on da satin sheets as they pull out from under her.

she a stain on her family, they's a stain on her psyche
psyche-stains luvs to stick there, an' nothin gettin dat one out

sheronda-londa luvs you fondly.
stares for hours thru your mondays
quietly shows ya hows ta rain down on the faces of yer formers.

drips so sweetly bliss and risein' is the water,

he forces himself into her ears.
he forces herself over his mind
he forces his force and she stain's him severely.

they's is stains babe, they's is stains on da children.

da children is stains on da mama.

the stains is stains the stains is stains

the stains is stains.
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[21 Feb 2005|11:06pm]
another hipster bites the dust.

another old grump takes a bullet through his ol' head. this ol' mind can only take so much abuse before its enough for an excuse to put an end to the ramblin's of this ol' mind.

all those kids are sad now...and wonderin' why...

but i know why kids...i know why.being brilliant has a price...when its brilliance in such darkness.

and suicide is a more natural kind of death than ya think.

my soul can't take this void of soulfulness. its a long dark road, its a road long and dark. she's a beautiful girl, and she's desirable, and desired.

those kinds of men have been dieing for a lot longer than you think. for decades the minds been rotting, dwindleing down to less and less contimplation of pain, and more and more pain. face pressed up against glass windows half the time, trying to feel the world outside.

you don't know what its like to have a mind like that...always jotting things out of it...and sometimes ya skip a day or two, and it fills up to quick, and if you can't drain out the words, then you have to go for the blood.

don't be disappointed, don't be surprised, don't be sad. that's a little less pain in the world. i know we like to think about how it observed and commented on things. but we have to remember that it really was all for nothing...and its better than feeling that kind of sick all the time. if its for nothing, then the only thing that makes sense is to feel nothing.

just nothing.

if i had a better idea about it than that then i'd use it, but i don't.

i don't know how long i've got left. i could've been anyone, but this is who i ended up being, so i've gotta see that through...and through to the end.

i didn't think it effected me much, but maybe i'm the one most effected after all.

after all, they'll all forget this soon, and i'll be left stumbleing, and now i'm the wondering one.

one less dirty eccentric
one less degenerate independent thinker.

and the world is no better or worse off than it ever was.

human kind isn't precious, it just thinks it is.
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da da sur eal ist ex p res i nism [13 Jan 2005|11:13pm]
i think we really got this dada-surrealist-expressionism thing goin...

we's so so goin' on dis one.

they supply the strange looks, and when's no one's around, they's gets the entertainment.

i love you like a tree
i love you like a tree

everything we say and do has a way of becoming our lives, and it all comes back around.

we's the shut-ins of tomorrow.

sittin lone in our red painted rooms, too intoxicated by life to really be able to live it very soberly.

you's knows what i means-wut i's means.
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c.oak baby has no baby. [02 Jan 2005|08:17pm]
there aren't many people like us...its rare that people like us would ever find eachother in the first place, but the world has taken this incredible turn that makes it possible, we could be miserable in a wonderful way if we had the courage...we could live in a different kind of thought. i won't give up ever. i see it, but am i the only one seeing it? do i drift into oblivion and beyond as a lone visionary disintigrateing into some fierce fire....

its a long ways away to go it alone, i think.
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think like me:::dream of the tulip [02 Jan 2005|08:08pm]
she's a strange one
she a dark one,
a funny-funny love one.

layin' there...drinkin sun
and under her palm was a little dream

a dream that she was just recalling to her consious mind.
and she felt the dream smooth and red.

there against the cracks in her hand every season could be felt.

she looked down at the green spikes where her hand lay,
and when she breathed in deeply her limbs lifted.
there revealed was the enameled flower.

the red spot in her blue eye.
and once the breath was let out again, the hand resettled,

and the dream began again.
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think like me:::tulips [02 Jan 2005|08:01pm]
redish n' whitish n' yellowish plastic three pronged tongues

tulips
tulips
tulips are growin' a growin so tall

a growin plastic flowers like red n' yellow n' white spots

they wave to me like hands with twiddleing fingers,

the short ones look up to the tall ones, heads on shoulders,

hands on hands, little dancers, little bright ones,
little bright-brights...

spots on the green.

the lawn is a sea, and the tulips are the bouys, they a bobbin' up

they a bobbin down.

tu like two

lips like 'kiss'

tulips pressed against tulips.

my plastic-precious
my fake-flowers
my little colorful cut-outs

i seen tulips in the sky
i seen them growin' from the clouds

the rain fell like nails and tulips grew out our bodies.
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[27 Dec 2004|10:25pm]
the beat the beat the beat
the beat the beat the beat


the beat...beat beat beat-beat beat beat beat-beat

i got
igotta

i got-gotta-got-got
i gotta got

i got a beat-fetish.


feathers like it when i lick them between their beats.

they like to float on vibrations that appear in the rythmic circles boom-booom

they like to explode, implode, and divide, and combine.

that's how feathers are, they like sound.

i do believe that there are right now feathers in my own ears,

craveing sounds, looking for sounds, searching for meaning, and love, and guidence in sounds.

in beats we trust to lead us the way to something we've never imagined before, to something just now possible

to-to-to-to-to to-to to-to-to-to-to to-to.... .. .... .. ...... .. .. . . ... ...... .. . . . . . . i see beats everywhere, i see dance steps in the ocean's waves, i see sways in the trees and the cracks in the paint are showing me what i want to hear, da da da da da da da da da da da d-a-d-a


now i'm in this, now i'm in-in-in-in this..dis dis

dis is da bestis evah evah evah...

dis is da beat that i wanted to meet, this is the meat that my ears want to eat....eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eeeeeeeaaaaaatttttttt

ya ya yea yea ya ya ya


uh uh uh uh uh uh huh

uh huh
uh huh
uh huh


da bestis
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in-come- pleated [24 Dec 2004|03:34am]
he put the meds in medula, ya know

but take the psycho out of psychoanalysis, and that one borin' mutha fucca.

it got all trendy ta be bookish, too. nose in the bind-glue, low-lite, hazy-life.

but that fellow got da sorrow, don't look round much, takes out the rubbish with that first cup of coffee.

that a trend too.

an' all i got left from the day is a wet rag, it'll be mold by tomorrow.

half damp, semi green, partly furry. a little nasty ol' dog of a thingy.

i hear a thud everytime i loose my head. the neighbors've been out drinkin' again...that like ta roust and rile just before they hear their own thuds.

it'll be thud-thud-thud...an' maybe a drool in the mix.

that's how we play it.

we scratch records and pass out to them skipping, or sticking on a single groove.

all my friends are alter egos...all my days are harmless, all in her eyes is pure thought for me.

i like to dig my own grave, like to dive in and sleep a while. like ta die with a smile.

on my face is emptiness. on my hands is bloodiness.

invisible things fascinate me, i couldn't say where i want to go right now.

my mind can't complete thoughts right now.

jitter

jotting

jitter.

the jar ran round the potted-plant, ran round the stolen tree.
the old man roy jumped in the jar and the two of 'em flew away.

a mother dear got all sedated and left her children so dry.
but she said it was good to be neglected and she sucked on bottle of rye.

now mama and roy are all hopped up on coke an' scotch an' pills.
they sleep all day an' talk all nite, always happy-excited an' thrilled.
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[18 Dec 2004|01:27am]
c.oak craze got a hold on the handle's again.

i's a hot-plate, sizzle-sizzle, wit a spritz here and a spritz-spritz there.

fry-fry on da lie-down number one...ah...that a good feelin' babe.

that a storm a fallin' wit da razor in the razor sun-moon day.

i's like a full one, the bright, round, gold one

da big ol' craterous, wit da blue-white splenderous.

the lay in the grass, get me back wet an' make a fuss-fuss, hmm.

ladies on da right side, gentlemen on da left side, in front the blind side, in behind the land-slide.

lookin' up to the star-light,gettin' in on da spite n' blight...i's gotta get dis right-right, right?

an' sleepin' in tight-tight, i like-like da night-night.
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an oldie get da c. oak treatment, ya know me? [16 Dec 2004|07:54pm]
she a stuptified

she a misty-eyed

she her daddy's pride.

collectin' the dirt, makein' the piles, takein' out da trash, an' makein' da din-din.

shoulders hang low-like.

arm dangles swing, slow-like.

papa like ta drive real fast in his car-car.

oh i a star-star

oh i a big-big

oh i a big-big star-star.

but i gotta problems

an' a i'm a not da only one, ya see now?

cradle me in yer arm-arms

sing ta me wit ya charm-charms

i need a hold that's warm-warm

ya know, ya know-know?

say it ta me slow-slow

i'm a gonna listen ta da radio, when de lights go way down low-low

now its a really dark-dark

an' a i gotta gets a spark-spark,

baby's gonna really churn-churn

when da fire in da night time goes burn-burn.

can ya help me find a my way-way?

mama say dat i'm da stray-stray,

but wut mama say don't teach-teach,

cause mama gotta lips like da leach-leach.

so kissy-kissy all da time-time and

sucky-sucky for just a dime-dime,

and blood gonna flow-flow flow, flow

out me skull down ta mommies throat-throat.

now she gotta big mouth full-full

now she gotta lips that pull-pull

now i gotta bitch dat love-ly

now me needs dat bitch ta love me.

and i's gott da world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow,

got da string around my finger

wut a thrill
wut a pill

wut a scene
wut a scream

wut a world...

i's in luv.
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